There are more than a hundred methods that help adults surmount their psychological problems. But you can’t use them on children especially little ones. Professionals know that they have to be extremely careful when prescribing medication or using psycho-emotional methods while helping unsettled children. Fortunately, there’s an ancient method that was used by mothers intuitively that produces incredible results especially with children under the age of 12. People call it “Mothers’ Love Vitamin”.
Erich Fromm once wrote, “Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.” The benefits of a strong attachment with a mother cannot be underestimated. To grow up secure in the knowledge that you are loved because you are you, that you are cared for because you are you, that you are valued because you are you, sets a firm foundation of self-belief and self-worth. Without that affinity, the effects can be devastating.
This method was researched by a renown Russian professor of psychology Drapkin, who put it into simple practice with great results. If used right, this method works like hypnosis and produces no side effects. Clinical studies have shown that after a couple of weeks of this treatment, children start to sleep better, eat better, stop wetting their beds, become calmer and more content. Children ameliorate the relationships with parents and people around them, the overall behavior and child development improve. This method showed great results in eliminating minor and major problems in children’s behavior and health, worked well with so-called “difficult” children and with children in extreme situations under severe stress.
This method is simple, doesn’t cost much time or money wise. It is very effective with children under the age of 12, with minor adjustments this method can be used on teenagers and even adults.
This is the most precious gift and the greatest source of strength knowing that someone loves us unconditionally!
How to use “Mother’s Love Method”
In order to get the best results, get a therapeutical diary. In the back of this diary first, wright down the child’s biography then make a list of all the problems with the child. Then in the front of the diary keep a therapeutical diary of improvements. It is imperative to write only positive things about the child in front of the diary after you start using this method. This is called “success seeding”. If you need to vent your frustrations, go back to the problems list and write them there.
A mother has to prepare a recording with affirmations to play in the first 15 to 30 minutes after the child falls asleep. It is very soothing for a child to listen to his mother’s voice since it’s the first human voice a child hears in the womb. So ideally it has to be a child’s mother or a grandmother’s voice or a woman, a child got the most attachment with.
There are rules to respect while preparing your recording:
1. The goal of this method is to improve a child’s health and emotional state. You cannot “zombie” your child into your idea of who she should be. You cannot command a child to be obedient or do certain tasks you want a child to do. Otherwise, it might be an obstacle to a child’s personality development. You can only use positive affirmations that confirm your UNCONDITIONAL* love, and it will work like a miracle.
2. You have to firmly believe in the best outcome and be in the best state emotionally and physically while preparing this recording.
3. You should not use negative sentences; the subconscious mind doesn’t understand negative sentences.
4. Imagine the child in front of you. Write down all the affirmations using the language and words your child understands the best.
5. Affirmations recording: Imagine the child in front of you. First, you send the affirmations “telepathically” to the child, as if you were trying to put the affirmation into child’s head. Then you read the affirmation aloud. Feel, live through each affirmation in like manner you are giving the child a piece of yourself with each affirmation. Then you send the next affirmation into the child’s head and then read it. You should be emotionally invested in each affirmation. If you become tired after this recording you did a great job.
6. You shouldn’t whisper or use a loud voice. Your voice should be calm and pleasant. After all, you are declaring your unconditional love to the child.
7. Before you turn on the record gently touch child’s arm or head. Continue playing the recording for the next 30 to 60 days.
This method is a comprehensive program that brings a mother’s instincts into a working system.
Affirmations – Basic block: Mother’s Love Vitamin
– I love you very much.
– You are very dear and precious to me.
– My love frees you from all the difficulties and sicknesses that you might have (use this affirmation carefully, only if you add “I am throwing away all of your difficulties, fears, and sickness”).
– Everyone, all of our family, love you very much
– You are strong, healthy and happy.
– You eat well and you grow stronger and healthier every day (Here you can add “You like eating vegetables and drink water”, if applicable))).
– Your heart, stomach, lungs are healthy and strong.
– You move easily and beautifully.
– You rarely get sick.
– You are calm. You like being calm.
– You are relaxed.
– You are intelligent.
– Your head and brain develop well.
– You have good memory and understanding.
– You are always in a good mood. You like to smile.
– You sleep well.
– You fall asleep fast and easy.
– You get a good rest when you sleep.
– You have only good dreams.
– You are brave and you like being brave.
– You speak well.
Affirmations – Individual block:
Here you design your individual program based on your child needs. In your affirmations you “free” the child of all the difficulties and problems she’s going through and set the child for the best health, joy, and success. Write down the affirmation based on positive emotional alternatives.
I translated Mother’s Love Vitamin Method from Russian to my best ability. I have been using this method myself with great results with my 6 years-old daughter since she was 2. She used to be a poor sleeper. I forgot about this problem three days after I started using this affirmations. I use Mother’s Love Vitamin every time my child experience a great change or unease, for example, a transition to a kindergarten or to a school. And people say that my child is very well-adjusted. I witnessed great results with other children after the first two weeks of the implication of this method. If you need my assistance or have any questions on how to use this method, schedule an online, phone or in-person appointment here.
Every child is a miracle and a blessing to be cherished and raised with love and appreciation. And in return child blossoms with joy and health**.
May you and your children be healthy and joyous.
*Human and perfection are antonyms. Do not expect yourself, your partner, your child or your family to be ideal or perfect. Instead, find the best character traits in yourself and people around you and stop concentrating on character defects.
“Perfect love cast out fear.”
– 1 John 4:18
Raising a child with unconditional love means that no fear is created in parent-child interactions. To love unconditionally simply means that parents accept their children completely and without restrictions or stipulations. There is no spoken (or unspoken) message causing the child to think he has to be something other than what he is in order to be loved. The need for unconditional love begins at conception.
The child needs to experience total acceptance from both parents, but primarily from the mother. This means that all physical features are accepted “as is”. Unfortunately, this is not always what happens. There can be something about their child that does not meet parents’ expectations, such as a funny-looking nose or ears, or unattractive teeth. In these cases, the parents’ uneasiness may trigger “innocent” remarks about a child’s features, causing the child to realize that his or her acceptance is conditional. Since the child can do little about his body, he experiences the fear of rejection. The basis of this conditional acceptance is perhaps due to the fact that the parents were not accepted unconditionally in their own childhood, which causes their fear to surface in interactions with their children.
Not only should the physical nature of the child be totally accepted, but what the child says, thinks, dreams or feels must be heard, honored and respected. The old philosophy that a child should be “seen but not heard” gave some parents the illusion that children would then develop respect for their parents. But this approach does not help a child to integrate his fear. Only an approach that provides unconditional love will garner respect for the parents! Therefore, if the parents want the child’s respect, the child must be the recipient of respect1. It is the same principle as adults – if we want a friend, we have to be a friend. And if we want respect, we must respect others. This process begins with a deep appreciation of the inner workings of a child’s mind. When the child’s thoughts and feelings are heard and acknowledged by adults, he will feel respected and accepted, and experience peace of mind. Having received this type of treatment, it is easy for the child to learn to respect others.
Forbidden self-expression, due to fear of rejection or ridicule, causes the child to feel unaccepted. This creates fear, and under these circumstances, the fear will not be integrated. This child will then harbor resentment instead of respect. With the child’s fully developed limbic system combined with a prefrontal cortex that lags behind in development, actions that cause the child to feel rejection are not likely to be processed by the child’s mind as they are by the adult mind. When a person (child or adult) feels fear, he must emerge from the situation feeling safe and knowing that he can protect himself should he encounter a similar situation. This is not likely to happen if the parents themselves are the source of the fear.
Greatly enabling the parent to love the child unconditionally is the realization that the development of their child’s limbic system is years ahead of his prefrontal cortex. This simply means that he is not an adult! Armed with this knowledge, it is easier to appreciate why children may at times appear irresponsible, selfish, impulsive, immature and inconsiderate. The fact that puppies act like puppies and not like grown dogs is readily accepted. Yet parents have trouble accepting normalcy in their own child! This is more than likely due to the fact that the parent’s own normal, childish behavior was not accepted unconditionally in their childhood.
by Barry Philipp
Reprinted and adapted by permission of the author from The Fear Factor: The Core of a Desperate Society, I Corinthians XIII Publishers, Wimberley, Texas, chapter 14.
1 Miller, Alice. For Your Own Good. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1990, page xviii.
**”Unconditional parental love is the indispensable nutrient for the child’s healthy emotional growth. The first task is to create space in the child’s heart for the certainty that she is precisely the person the parents want and love. She does not have to do anything or be any different to earn that love – in fact, she cannot do anything, since that love cannot be won or lost…The child can be ornery, unpleasant, whiny, uncooperative, and plain rude, and the parent still lets her feel loved. Ways have to be found to convey the unacceptability of certain behaviors without making the child herself feel unaccepted. She has to be able to bring her unrest, her least likable characteristics to the parent and still receive the parent’s absolutely satisfying, security-inducing unconditional love.”
― Gordon Neufeld